running: the dawn

I haven’t talked much about this, but I am running the Rockford Marathon this Sunday with my dear training partner KT.  I guess I’ve been so focused and training for a meeting my goal at San Diego, that this race crept up on me without much warning (well, other than signing up for and paying for it over a month ago…).

Looking at the weather forecast, I couldn’t be happier: 50 at the start with a high of 67.  Warmer that the “ideal” but I think it will be perfect.  Supposed to be mostly sunny as well, which is nice, but I think I may need to find a new visor before then.

KT is feeling anxious but ready, which I think is typical.  It’s going to be so much fun to run with someone who has worked so hard the past 5 months for this day.  I can’t wait to be at the start with her when the gun goes off, to cross the 13.1 marker and realize that we have less than half to go, and finally to cross the finish line and celebrate her achievement.  There is nothing like a first marathon.  I feel blessed that I get to share this with her.

We are not going for time.  We are focused on completion.  She has been battling with some knee pain in the last few weeks which is troublesome.  She had to decrease her mileage to help with the healing process.  I believe in her though.  She is a fighter and will cross the finish line strong, I have no doubt.

This week has been amazing for me with running.  True, we’re only three days into it, but I have had two amazing runs already.  Sunday after coming back from Chicago I set out to run 11, and ended up going for 13!  Then yesterday I ran 7 miles with KT and headed out for 10 more to complete my long run, but since I was still feeling so great I decided to do 11.  That means I’m sitting at 31 miles and it’s Tuesday!  I’m hoping to get all 50 in by Thursday so that I can rest Friday and Saturday and be all glycogen-ed up for the big race.

Thank you mom for supporting me.

Thank you for laughing at all my jokes.

Thank you for sitting in the front row at all of my plays.

Thank you for listening as I talk about nothing.

Thank you for taking time to know me.

Thank you for your many sacrifices.

Thank you for giving me an example that I will forever try to follow.

You inspire me.

You empower me.

I love you!

I think I just had a mild heart attack typing the words “4 weeks to go”.  Oh my word.  I am…I mean…I can’t…believe.  Whew.

This week’s miles:

Sunday–4; I had 15 scheduled, set out to do 10, ended up with only 4 and wet shoes.  Lame.
Monday–15; got the miles done, but I was supposed do 12 at my marathon pace.  I decided to just not worry about that part…
Tuesday–4; recovery miles.
Wednesday–11
Thursday–10; with 5×600 meters at 5k pace.
Friday–6; in the rain.

Total miles: 50

I have no energy for running these days.  I’ve been getting out there and “getting the miles done” but I don’t feel inspired.  Is this normal?  I have one more high mileage week left in my training before I start the taper, but I’m not sure my spirit will hold up.  I feel like I’ve been running weighted down.  Heavy running leads me to feel heavy of spirit, which then reinforces the lackluster training.  A vicious cycle.

On the upside, I’m getting ready to head out to Chicago to spend the weekend with the Mr.  I couldn’t be more excited!  Hope everyone’s training, long runs, and races go well this weekend!

Every time I’ve set foot in a grocery store for the past two weeks I have left with one or more cartons of fresh strawberries.  They are so tasty and so cheap these days I’m getting completely addicted.  I’m sure that it made more sense how often I bought them when there were two of us.  Somehow though, I seem to be going through the delightful berries just as fast now that I’m flying solo.  Seriously.  I just bought two one-pound cartons and killed them in less than 24 hours!  Oh but they’re sooooooo goood!

The truth is that this is a vast improvement from my usual behavior when my husband is out of town.  I developed some not-so-healthy eating habits while I was living as a single girl in Vermont.  My diet consisted mainly of chips and salsa with Ben & Jerry’s for dessert.  I may or may not resort to this same behavior whenever left to my own devices.  Yes, I know how to cook.  I’ve learned how to cook a variety of healthy dishes and usually prepare well balanced meals.  When it’s not just me that is….

So, while I do need to make sure that I’m getting more substance than pound after pound of strawberries, at least I’m not surviving on junk food, right?

My running has been much better since my last post.  I think I’ve come up with a system that is going to work for me.  Since apparently I’ve gotten used to having someone know what I’m doing, I’m going to text Mr. Dawn at the beginning of each run.  He then texts me back sometime during said run and I feel connected and end up running tall and strong.  I did 15 miles on Monday afternoon and got several texts from him.  It made a HUGE difference.  So, even though he wasn’t waiting for me at home, he was supporting me from afar.

Last night I went to Jazzercise.  Have I mentioned how much I love the workouts I get there?  Seriously.  When I’m done I feel like I have worked out Head to Toe.  30-40 minutes of cardio that always includes some kickboxing, latin dancing, and lately they’ve started including tons of “plyometric” style movement.  Then there is the strength segment where we work upper body, legs, abs, core, and glutes.  I love that so many of the leg exercises are ones that I’ve seen suggested on Runner’s World as ways to stay injury free.  My favorite part though?  The music!  I seriously never listen to the radio and so I get all my running jams by going to Jazzercise.  They always have a great mix (from country to hip hop) and find the best motivational songs EVER!

Well, I’m getting hungry again…wonder if they still have those strawberries on sale…

Even superheros have weaknesses.

Spiderman had Mary J.  Superman had his kryptonite.

I have figured out my source of strength now that it’s gone.  Mr. Dawn is in Chicago working for the next five weeks.  He left Friday morning.  Since then I have not been able to lace up my shoes with any sense of energy.  I begrudgingly ran my 12 miles on Friday.  I walked some.  Even when it was over, I was just happy to not be pounding the pavement anymore.

Then there was the saga of my long run yesterday.  I spent the weekend with the Mr.  We had so much fun in the big city!  Even though I’ve known and been planning on Mr. Dawn being gone during May, I haven’t been thinking about it much.  Until yesterday.  I got home to a noticeably empty home.  Then I had to deal with the fact that its going to be like this for awhile.  This made me cry.  Sir Cap’n Pete had prescribed a 15 miler for the day.  I didn’t think that I was going to be able to handle that in the state I was in.  So I decided to find a new place to run and shoot for 10.

I found a lovely bike path about an hour away.  The fun part was that I was able to do some shopping at the outlets before heading out for my run.  This turned out to the be only highlight.  The run started out beautifully.  I was running at a great pace and really enjoying myself.  Occasionally I would encounter a puddle that I would have to negotiate around, but I was glad that I had decided to suck it up and run even though I just felt like throwing a pitty party.  Pretty soon there was another puddle in the way and I veered over to the grass to avoid it.  Apparently this grass was masking a huge swamp.  My shoes were instantly soaked all the way through.

That pushed me over the edge.  I started to cry (again) and decided that instead of pushing through and getting huge blisters on my feet I would just head back to my car and go home.  Defeated.

My conclusion: having Mr. Dawn here is the source of my strength.  With him gone, I’m like Superman after he dinned on krypotonite.  I have none of my powers.

I feel like I’ve gotten a flat tire.  I’m standing on the side of the road, no where near my destination, without a way to move forward.  I know that I need to get out the tools, fix the problem, and continue on my way.  But right now, I’m paralyzed.  I feel like I’m stuck in the middle of my training and I don’t know how to get myself rolling again.  All of the momentum I had coming off the half marathon is gone, I’m running on fumes, and right now I don’t feel like I’m going to achieve my goals.

The most ridiculous part about what I’m feeling is that my husband does not run with me EVER.  Him not being here really shouldn’t affect how I run.  Nothing about the mechanics of what I do has changed.  It’s just that he’s not here for me to give my route information to, he won’t be here to ask me how the run went, there’s no time constraints on when or how long I run.  Usually I try to get my run in before I make dinner, or work around our social commitments.  Now, that I could go whenever, I find myself not wanting to go at all.

I have no time for this!  This will be the one pity party post I allow myself, then NO MORE!  I will pull myself together, change the tire, and finish what I started.  I will not let my training so far be flushed down the toilet.  I will finish strong.