running: the dawn

Does anyone else get nauseous while running on a treadmill?  Ever since I got my precious treadmill in my house I’ve noticed that it makes me a little seasick when I’m running on it.  It’s strange because this has never happened to me before even though this summer I logged a LOT of my miles on a ‘mill.

In fact, the time that I threw up after my workout it was when I did half on the treadmill and half on the roads.  Could it be a cause and effect relationship?

What got me thinking about this was last night.  I had 6 recovery miles to run.  While I usually like to do my mileage all at once, I don’t feel too guilty when I split up recovery miles.  KT wanted to run a bit in the afternoon so we did an easy three miles and everything felt great.  Then I had to go to Jazzercise, make dinner, and do some chores before I got to finish up my last three miles.  By then it was dark and Glee was on, so I opted to run the three miles on my treadmill.

My recovery pace is 10 min miles, so by no means was I pushing myself.  But still I felt sick to my stomach after just a mile.  I was able to finish, but felt dizzy and sick for the rest of the evening.

I’m not sure how to deal with this or if it really is from my treadmill…I guess I’ll just stick to the great outdoors for now…

What a perfect day for running.  Lately it’s been back in the 90′s and I was starting to loose hope that fall was actually coming ever.  But today: redemption.  It was cool.  It was sunny.  The sky was vivid blue and my legs just wanted to run.

I love how all week long I couldn’t scrape together the energy to squeeze in a double-digit run, yet today with 20+ on the agenda I was pumped and ready to roll.  I love running long.  Something about it energizes me.  I don’t know if its the lingering question about if I can actually run that far, or if I’m just crazy.  But there is something mystical about the long run that draws me in.  Like I was mentally built for challenges like this.

The Gazelle got to my house at the appointed time and we were off.  I’d set out our water and gatorade the day before so there was nothing to slow us down.  The temperature was perfect, starting out around 49 and only getting to the mid-50′s by the end of the run.

Since this would be my last 20-miler until race day I decided to gear up in everything that I plan on using during the marathon.  Plaid skirt, tank top, gloves, down to the shoes.  Now…I did just buy a new pair of shoes on Friday…and under the premise of total confession I must say that I wore them out of the box for a 20+ mile run.  I normally would never do that, but I did not want to count on them for the marathon having never worn them 20 miles.  So, I just figured if they felt good brand new, they’d work for the race.  And they did!  Amazingly well.  I’m super excited about them.  They’re considered “lightweight trainers” which just means that they are “less” than a normal running shoe, but “more” than a racing flat.  I am in love!  The only item that I didn’t wear on the run that might show up on race day is my arm warmers.  I’ve worn them in races before, so they didn’t need to be tested.  I’ll just have to wait and see how cold it gets in the next 19 days.

The run itself was smooth as silk.  the first 3 miles we were hitting an 8:30-8:40 pace, which was a little fast for us especially when we started working on the hills.  So we backed off to an 8:50ish pace and then cruised there for the remainder of the run.

I love the 20-mile route that I run from my house.  Its set up so that we zig-zag out and back, which means that we can pass the same water stations twice each, but never run on the same road twice.  My favorite section is the farthest out loop from mile 9.5-13.  We leave the paved road behind and get to run on a dirt road.  The entire loop is either up or down, there are no flat sections.  It’s like running on a trail.  We get to pass by some amazing houses and there’s a beautiful lake.  That section seems so far removed from the rest of the world.  It always feels like being away on vacation, if only briefly.  And by the time that loop is done there’s a mere 7 mile trek back to my house.

My legs felt amazing the entire time and once we settled into our pace my breathing was calm and steady.

Sometime during the second half of the run, she and I started talking about how thankful we both were to have found such a solid running partner.  Seriously.  For me, running with her has been such a huge blessing!  I have always been satisfied with getting by and not pushing myself.  I’ve gotten used to training with people at my same level or just slightly slower.  This is the first time I have been challenged by running with someone faster and more fit than I am.  Running with her has taught me to believe in my abilities and to see that I’m so much more capable than I give myself credit for.  It has also taught me how much I let my doubts get the best of me and keep me from pushing myself.  The first couple miles always have me a bit scared that I won’t be able to do it, but once I settle down and get in rhythm I end up exceeding my own expectations.  With just a little push from a Gazelle.

All this time I thought it was just me benefiting from our running partnership.  Turns out that she’s been thankful for me too.  This is her first full marathon and she said that if it weren’t for me to run these longer distances with her she would have talked herself out of it a long time ago.  I’ve been able to tell her stories and share the silly things that I’ve learned about running long.  It really warmed my heart to know that I’ve been able to contribute to her running journey.  I’ve been feeling so guilty that I am “holding her back” from running as fast as she normally would.  But we’ve both been learning from each other.

Once we got back to my house I was feeling so good I decided to tack on two more miles.  I did a quick loop around my neighborhood and ended the run with 22 miles in 3:11:55.  My last two miles were the fastest at 8:17 and 7:33!  And seriously, I could have finished out the entire 26.2 miles yesterday, that’s how good I felt.

The rest of the day I did: nothing.  I ate.  I watched football (KC Chiefs 3-0 baby!!!!).  I ate some more.  It was glorious.

As I run, I learn.  I learn about my body and its needs.  I learn about myself and the strength that lies within.  I learn about how to push myself and succeed.  I learn about nature.  I learn about friendship.  I learn about life.

One of the lessons that I learned this week was how to forgive myself when I fail.

Maybe to classify this week as a failure seems somewhat melodramatic, but that’s what it was.  I wasn’t battling an injury, I wasn’t any more busy than I’ve been all along, there isn’t a scapegoat.  It was just me not doing what I set out to do.  Every week, I have goals I have a schedule posted on my refrigerator and it spells out for me what success and failure both look like.  I have workouts that I plan to do, paces that I plan to hit, and a weekly mileage mark that I plan to run.  If I meet or exceed these perimeters, I win.  If not….I come down on myself pretty hard.

Yesterday I had a choice.  I was done with work by 2:30 and I could have gone for a run.  I wanted to make a trip to the running store an hour away, but I could easily have done both.  I made preparations for running on a trail between home and the store.  I got my stuff together and packed it in the car.  True, I spent a little more time discussing my race-day shoes with the salesman than I anticipated, but there was still time to put in at least a few miles.  But I didn’t.  I choose not to.  I ended my week with 10 fewer miles than I had planned.

At first I started going through all the reasons why its ok to not run the miles: its almost taper time anyway, I need to rest for the 20-miler on Sunday, I don’t feel 100%…  But all those reasons just fall flat.  The truth is I didn’t do the miles.  Period.  I’m disappointed and don’t have a good excuse.

Today I woke up.  Stretched.  And forgave myself.  I choose to not be haunted by what I left undone.  I choose to not dwell on my shortcomings.  Instead I choose to look ahead.  I choose to feel confident about my training.

I have learned to forgive myself, without excuse.

This week’s mileage:
Sunday: 17
Monday: 5
Tuesday: 7
Wednesday: 0
Thursday: 10
Friday: 0

Total: 39

I’m currently looking for……me.

For almost two weeks now I’ve felt like an observer to my own life.  I feel disconnected.  I can’t even put my finger on the issue, let alone come up with a way to fix the problem.

I’m getting my running done, but even when I’m out pounding the pavement I feel like something’s missing.

This is going to be short and sweet, just a quick snapshot of my week.

This week:

Sunday–20 miles; felt great, huge relief!
Monday–rest
Tuesday–8 miles with 5×600 intervals & Jazzercise; i made it through the speedwork with no puking!  Win!
Wednesday–12 miles; legs were like lead.  Doing Jazzercise (strength/weights) and speekwork on the same day, not smart…
Thursday–5 miles recovery & Jazzercise
Friday–10 miles

Total: 55 miles–PEAK WEEK!!

I’m so excited because we get to go camping this weekend!  Hopefully I’ll have all kinds of picture from the adventures

Do you ever annoy yourself?

Today was a pretty normal day: prep, teach, prep, teach, eat, teach.  But throughout the day there was something weighing my spirit down.  I felt grumpy.  Well, part of me felt grumpy.  It was like I was split into two different people.  One that was depressed and surrounded by gloom.  Meanwhile the other person was looking around and saying, “Seriously?  I don’t see any reason for the Eeyore attitude.  Buck up girl!”  And the conflict continued for the better part of my day.

Seriously, I got so annoyed with my own “woe is me” attitude I could barely stand to be in the same room with myself.  Which is kinda hard…

Even through the entire 12 miles that I ran today.  I fought spending all that time with myself.  I just wanted to stop and go watch tv (since those people wouldn’t be as Debbie-Downer as I was being).  I seriously couldn’t figure out my problem.

The run helped.  Some.  I’m hoping that a good night’s sleep will do the trick and that tomorrow I will wake up reunited with a happier version of me.

Yesterday, Mr. Dawn sent of the final payment for my student loans (from my masters’ degree)!!!!  It’s such a huge relief to be out from under that debt.  It took us two years of budgets and saving, and a couple tax returns to pay it off, but we got it done.  Hallelujah!  AND…we’re currently living on 1.25 salaries because he’s in graduate school right now.  It makes me so thankful and happy I can’t even find the right words…

This is why I am so happy to be married to the man I am.  I am not good at managing money and I know that I would not be debt free right now if it were not for Mr. Dawn.  He has done a great job discussing our finances with me, helping us to set financial goals, and learning with me how to be smart with our money.  It makes me feel like we’re a great team and gives me such confidence facing whatever the future holds.

It’s kinda like running those 20-milers.  They are the confidence boosters that help you know that you can trust your body, your training, and your endurance.

What a fabulous weekend.  My parents were in town, the weather was fabulous (both rain and shine), a nap on Saturday, long run on Sunday, and a department picnic (more fun than it sounds, I promise).

The biggest news?  I did my 20 mile run in less than three hours!  2:56:19, which works out to be 8:49 per minute.  I don’t really have much to say about it.  The Gazelle was running 16 and we decided to run together an then I’d finish out my 20 after.  We started at 10:30, which was a little late in the day for a long run.  The temps topped out around 77, so it was pretty warm and sunny.  We chatted and ran, chatted and ran.  By the end of the run I was toast, but I was SOOO excited to see that I’d finished in under 3 hours.  A first for me

Now, the day after, I’m not a sore as I thought I would be, but MAN I’m wiped out.  For lunch today I seriously ate like three full meals.  And now, it’s before 9pm and I’m pretty sure I’m going to be in bed soon.  I’m two weeks from the taper, and in the middle of my peak mileage week.  When I look ahead at some of the workouts that I am doing in the next couple weeks I get pretty nervous.  But right now…I’m tired…and I’m getting in bed.

Wow, I can’t believe I’m two weeks away from the taper.  How is that even possible?  I’ve got my highest mileage next week, then one more at 50 before backing off.  Craziness!

Let me say this:  I cannot believe that I was able to get in 50 miles this week.  After being out of town for the long weekend and not doing my long run on Sunday, I was pretty close to just chalking this week up as a failure.  But then that overly intense person that lives inside me woke up and took over.  Almost daily I would calculate and recalculate when I was going to do my running and how I was going to squeeze in all the miles I had planned.  And by daily, I mean several times a day.  Maybe even hourly.  In fact, it’s surprising that I got any work done at all!

Speaking of work, this was the first full week of teaching for me.  All my classes are up and running…which of course added to the scheduling challenges.  I couldn’t always get my miles done in the morning because I had to be to work early.  Luckily its been cool enough that the afternoon/evening runs have been delightful.

Ok, with all that as a premise…

This week’s workouts:
Sunday–Nothing, but a beautiful wedding.
Monday–6 miles on the treadmill after driving all day.
Tuesday–5 miles on the treadmill…planned all day to make up the missed 15 miler, but got distracted too many times.
Wednesday–15 fast miles
Thursday–10 & 2, it was supposed to just be a 12 miler, but I had to cut my morning run short and make it up in the evening.
Friday–12 a perfect way to end the week: running with my dad.

Total Mileage: 50

My parents are in town for the weekend (woohoo!) on their way home from their 39th wedding anniversary trip.  I was so thankful that my dad said he’d be willing to ride his bike with me this afternoon for my final 12 miles of the week.  I’m pretty sure that I would have just said forget it if it were just up to me.  He rode along with me and told me all about their trip.  It really helped the time fly by and make the week a success!  Thanks dad!!!

Just as a side note: If you look at the mileage closely, you’ll see that I did 39 miles in three days.  Now I have one day off and then a 20 miler.  Hmmmm.  59 miles in 5 days.  AND if I was going to measure my week from Monday through this Sunday (7 days) I will have run 70 miles in one week.  Insane.

If you have been around for very long you’ll already know 1.) I am a math teacher, 2.) I strongly dislike statistics, and 3.) I am teaching statistics this semester.  Needless to say I’ve been slightly stressed with this class looming on the horizon for the past few months.  Well the week has finally come and my challenge to teach something that I don’t enjoy is upon me.

So, what’s a teacher to do?  Make it work!

Yesterday, I finally got around to running my long run from last weekend.  On the schedule I was supposed to run 15 miles with 12 at marathon pace (sub 8:27).  Since I was running this on a Wednesday and therefore would not have the same kind of mental fortitude that I muster on a weekend long run, I didn’t hold out high hopes.  I figured, I’ll start out easy and see what happens.  It was a glorious 63 degrees when I started the run and there was NO humidity.  It felt so amazing!  My long runs usually follow the same rhythm: I start out slow and gradually speed up through the miles.  So I was surprised that my first couple miles were sub-9.  I didn’t let it spook me, I just kept plugging away figuring that I’d probably get down to marathon pace and I’d see how long it would last.

That’s when I started throwing down!  Like whoa.  There were a lot of 8:20′s and a couple of 8:10′s.  I was super surprised by how strong I was feeling and how great I was running.  I thought that I would probably be pretty close to having at least 12 miles average to marathon pace.

Imagine my surprise and delight when, upon finishing the last mile, I checked my stats and my overall average pace was 8:26!  Say What?  15 miles at marathon pace?  Last training cycle I don’t think I even ran 10 miles at my goal pace!  And my training plan only calls for the 12-mile pace workout.  Oh man, does it feel good!

So, how does this relate to my statistics class?  Well we’re currently learning about descriptive statistics.  Today I decided that I would put the question up to them: Did I complete my workout goal?  You see, when you look at the mile splits, there aren’t 12 miles that were clocked under 8:27.  But when you take the average over the entire run, it is lower.  I listed out all my split time (not including the total time or average pace) and asked them to figure out the best way to answer the question.  They had to work with the other people at their table to decide what the best way to figure out the answer based on the data they were given.

Two out of the three groups decided yes, I did meet my goal, but the third could not overlook the lack of 12 sub-goal pace miles.  It ended up being an interesting conversation about how data can be interpreted and what questions are important to ask when analyzing information.

See?  This is how I’m going to survive teaching this class!  Making it about something I care about.  Hmmm, maybe I should make it about something the students will care about….there’s a novel idea!