running: the dawn

Usually I am upbeat and positive about my life and my running.  I believe in limitless potential and the power of a good attitude.  I strongly believe that I am capable of anything that I put my mind to.

The only problem is that I must put my mind to something.  I must choose to want to better myself.  And honestly, right now, I don’t feel like I have that drive.  At least not when it comes to running.

I feel like a faker.

In the spirit of full disclosure here are my confessions:

• I don’t really care if I get any faster. I was so single minded last year about improving my times, I’m pretty much done caring about it.  This makes it hard for me to do speed work.  I end up avoiding these workouts and wishing that I could just go on a nice easy 5 mile run.  Just because.
• I don’t really care about running races. I keep saying that I haven’t put any other races on my calendar because I want to focus on Boston, and that’s probably 75% of my real reasoning.  The other 25% is that I don’t really feel a drive to race…which I’m sure is related to not caring if I run any faster.

I always imagined that if I cared less, I would feel less guilt.  Makes sense, right?  However, even though I don’t care about things right now…I still feel guilt.  I feel guilty because I’m afraid that I’m not the type of person that “should” run Boston.  I’m scared that my underachieving attitude will offend my running community.

Maybe those competitive juices will come back to me someday.  I’m sure I’ll lust after a 3:30 marathon eventually.  But, being completely honest with myself and you, it’s just not me.  At least not now.

So, what now?  I’m still going to run.  I’m still going to train.  I still CANNOT wait to run Boston in 76 days!!!  But if I’m not focused on getting better at running, what will I spend my time and energy doing?  Right now, I don’t have a real answer to that question, but I figure it will be fun to explore the possibilities.

Instead of obsessing over my splits, laps time, and intervals…here are the things that have given me joy lately:

• Cat napping in the sunshine on the floor of my living room yesterday.
• Playing Clue with Mr. Dawn, K-Mo, and J-Money (it was Mr. Plum, in the Conservatory, with the lead pipe)
• Having Friday dinner with Mr. Dawn, he did the shopping I did the cooking
• Video chatting with Mom and Dad Saturday morning
• Talking to my BFF about her upcoming move back to the midwest

I still believe in my limitless potential.  I just need to find a goal to focus on and be inspired by.  Any suggestions?

Today I had an original Hershey’s miniature.  Didn’t satisfy and frankly made my stomach a little upset.  The remedy?

Dark Chocolate!!!

source

I used to HATE dark chocolate.  I couldn’t imagine passing up creamy milk chocolate for its bitter-less attractive-step-cousin.  Now?  I bit into a dark chocolate and felt right at home.    Yummm!  Don’t really care if I ever have “regular” chocolate ever again.  It’s dark or “no thank you!”  I think I’m officially grown up.

That’s right…this here site is one year old today!  I can’t believe it…

I feel like this blog has helped me to rediscover myself as a runner.  I’ve started to refer to my running life as “BB” before blog, and “AB” after blog.

Before Blog:
I had run two marathons and four half marathons.  I always made my own “training schedule” which really just meant that I would write out the long runs on a calendar and then try to at least run once or twice during the week.  My highest training mileage was probably in the 20′s.  I’d never read any books or articles about running.  I’d never heard of running skirts.  I’d never tried a GU brand gel before.  I had no idea what “compression” gear was.  I ran only in the spring and fall…NEVER did I brave the elements.  I NEVER set foot on a treadmill.

My marathon PR was 4:28
My half marathon PR was 1:57

Most importantly, before I started my blog I didn’t really read other running blogs.  It has been through connecting with other runners and reading their stories that I have grown most as a runner.

After Blog:
I’ve run three marathons and one half marathon in under 12 months.  I have learned the importance of speed work and found that I love running on a track.  My peak weekly mileage this last year tops out near 60 miles per week.  I have learned the value of pacing and being strategic when approaching a race.  I own a foam roller, the Stick, Zensah Compression sleeves, several  hand held water bottles, 5 running skirts, 3 sweaty bands, and a half-dozen running books.  I’ve run in 10 degree weather with howling wind and 90 degree temps with 89% humidity.  I have a treadmill in the basement that I am well acquainted with.

My marathon PR is 3:40:21
My half marathon PR is 1:46:25

I can’t even begin to explain what a monumental impact this community of bloggers has made on my running.  It has transformed who I am as a runner and how I approach the sport.  I love the each weekend I know at least one person who is running a race or doing a long run.  I love that there are countless people that I can turn to with my questions and struggles.

Thank you all–readers and bloggers alike–for being the best training tool I’ve ever come across!

My Favorite Posts From the Past Year:

• As I begin… my first post
• Will you be my Monica? why I love running with friends
• Embracing my inner blog figuring out the focus of my blog
• The Machine how running affected my body image
• my mom a tribute on mother’s day
• what comes now? when I decided to try to qualify for Boston
• Daddy and me a tribute on his birthday
• My 18 mile wake up call my first run with the Gazelle
• The Cheer Squad my favorite supporters
• happy birthday mr. dawn! a tribute on his birthday
• Grand Rapids Marathon 2010 the day I qualified for Boston

Yesterday, at daybreak, the temperature was -11.  Degrees.  The running club’s 8am group run had already been canceled so I knew that I didn’t have to be quick to abandon the warmth of my covers.  In fact, I managed to stay in bed long enough for this to happen:

That’s right, Mr. Dawn braved the sub zero temps to go to the store and get all the fixin’s for a delicious pancake breakfast, because I basically keep no food in the house.  And, yes, I put down a towel because I spill on myself like a toddler.

I then stayed in bed reading blogs, checking facebook, and watching the temperature with great anticipation.

Yes, that is a “feels like -4.”  Yes, this was at 10am.  Yes, I was still in bed.  Oh, and yes, I have the Boston Marathon logo as my desktop background.  I’m that obsessed.

By noon it had warmed up to an agreeable 13 degrees and my new running partner had showed up right on time.  The director of the running club had emailed everyone that the group run had been canceled, and I wrote her back to see if she would be interested in meeting up later in the day.  I was thrilled when she said that she’d do 10 out of my 20 miles with me at noon!

The best part about new running friends is that there is SO much to talk about.  She told me about her first marathon, the Toronto Marathon.  It was actually on the same day as the Grand Rapids Marathon so it turns out that we were running at the exact same time!  She’s a super star track athlete who just recently started doing endurance events.  Then we talked about family and friends, work and school, and all of a sudden the we were back at my house.  The 10 miles just flew by.  It was sunny and there was hardly any wind.  A perfect day for winter running.

I did another two miles solo around the neighborhood, but then it was time to watch some football with Mr. Dawn.  Now…he grew up near Chicago.  He’s been a Bears fan his entire life.  He actually bleeds blue and orange.  I am a Kansas City Chiefs fan, but I have started to enjoy watching the Bears play as well.

So this was my view for the last 8 miles:

Its hard to tell, but that is the game.  And my computer is set up on a tv tray because I may or may not have also been catching up on some reality tv…you know…during the commercials. I have two towels there…because when one fills up with my sweat I need another one.

The last three miles were pretty tough.  It might have just been because the game was going no where fast…or because I was running on a treadmill, either way my mind was not into it and I really had to just will myself onward.

Once I was done, I headed to the store to get my 20 lb. bag of ice for the ALL IMPORTANT ice bath.  I watched a Criminal Minds episode to keep my mind of the numbing cold.  Then I spent the rest of the evening refueling: two smoothies, pasta, pomegranate juice and some tea.

I’m really surprised with how great my legs feel this morning.  No real soreness or pain.  I’ve been nervous about these longer miles because I’m no longer doing any mid week double digit runs.  With  my last plan I’d always at least be running 10-12 miles sometime during the week.  I was afraid that without that the long runs were going to feel that much more challenging.  But both mentally and physically I feel like I was ready to tackle this first 20 miler.  I love that I already have one 20 miler done and I get to do three more!  Nothing builds my confidence like running 20+ miles.

Don’t forget, today is the one day sale for Jazzercise!  Find a class and then tell me how much you love it



Five years ago, today, I became a Jazzercise instructor.  Literally my favorite job ever!  Even though I no longer teach classes, I still love going and the Jazzer-community is nothing short of amazing! Since I rave about Jazzercise so much on here and I get a LOT of questions about what its like I figured now would be the best time to share with everyone why I’m so obsessed with Jazzercise.

What to expect at a Jazzercise class:

1. When you first get there, a class manager or the instructor will welcome you and make sure you get oriented.  I’ve visited classes EVERYWHERE that I travel from California to Chicago, Michigan to Vermont.  They are always so open and friendly.
2. The opening song/routine will be some nice easy movements to get your muscles warm and then you spend a few minutes stretching.
3. The cardio section lasts between 35-40 minutes.  Songs are selected to get your heart rate up quickly, sustain it, and then slowly bring it back down.
4. The last cardio routine is always my favorite.  Its usually a little more funky and dance-like.  Recently there has been a lot of music from the Glee cast which is super fun!
5. For the last 15-20 minutes of class we do stretching and strength training.  We use weights, resistance bands, exercise balls and mats.  The ab workouts are usually my favorite and can REALLY burn!
6. The last routine always includes some more light stretching to round out the perfect 60 minute workout.

Some general reasons why Jazzercise is my favorite form of exercise:

• Always new fresh music. I actually find most of my running music from Jazzercise class.  They always have current upbeat song that motivate me to work hard.
• A scheduled start and stop time. I’ve found that just “going to the gym” doesn’t work for me because I could go “whenever” which means that I put it off and end up short changing my workout.  So, just the fact that it starts at 6:00 pm gets me out the door.
• Informed, quality instructors. Jazzercise instructors come in all varieties, but they all love what they do and it shows.  Classes are always fun, and informative.
• I don’t have to plan out what I’m going to do. When I go to class I know that I will get a full cardio workout plus resistance training with all of my major muscle groups: arms, chest, back, legs, glutes, abs.
• It has the BEST of everything! I have exercise ADD and I love to try out new forms of crosstraining, but I don’t want to pay for yoga, pilates, kickboxing, latin dance, etc.  Jazzercise incorporates the best of all these different genres and puts it together for me.  I love that during one class I’ll be kicking and punching during one song, finding my “cha cha” hips the next, and even doing pilates “100′s” before class is done.
• Accountability. I know that if I miss a day or two people will notice.  When I was gone for two weeks at Christmas time I got a postcard, emails, and facebook messages from the instructor and others in the class making sure everything was ok and telling me that they missed me.  It’s so great to know that people notice my presence and miss me when I’m gone.

And finally, why I think that Jazzercise is the BEST crosstraining for me, a runner:

• Strengthens the opposing muscles. In running the motion goes from the back of the foot rolling through to the toe where you push off.  In Jazzercise, and most other aerobics, the impact is reversed.  You land on your foot rolling “toe-ball-heel.”  I have found this to be an awesome way to have some impact in my workouts, but still give my running muscles a break.
• Core strength. Throughout the entire 60 minute workout you are strengthening your core.  With the twisting, lifting, and hopping the core is engaged as it keeps you stabilized.  When I first started going to Jazzercise regularly I noticed a huge change in my running posture.  I was running “tall” and using my core strength to have support my spine.  This helped me not fatigue as quickly.
• Hip strength. Every time I see articles in Runner’s World or other places about how to stay injury free and recover from a knee injury they address the importance of hip strength and flexibility.  What I LOVE is that most of the suggested exercises for strengthening the hip are ones that I already do in Jazzercise, just by going to class.  We routinely work both the inner and outer thigh and often the moves are ones that engage the hip flexors which helps me power up those hills that you all know I LOVE!
• Stretching. Although I used to be a gymnast, and I know the important role that stretching plays in the life of an athlete…I don’t always make the time to stretch.  When I go to class I know that I will get some light stretching at the beginning, and entire routine of stretching after the cardio, and some more light stretching right before I leave.  I love that stretching is a given when I go to Jazzercise.

So, if you’re interested in checking out a class, here’s a link to find a class near you.  Next Monday, January 24, is the one day sale nationwide.  If you are looking for the perfect time to attend a class for free and get some major discounts that would be the perfect time to check it out!

**I am not an employee of Jazzercise Inc, and did not receive any benefits from writing this post.  I just REALLY love their workout!!!**

This weekend I had the privilege of spending time with my running BFF in search of the perfect wedding dress.  When I think back to planning my wedding, the dress was the pivotal piece.  I was debating over several different dresses and couldn’t decide.  Each one had a completely different feel, and would call for a completely different style of event.  I remember when I put on “the dress.”  I said, “This is how I want my wedding to feel!”  And after that purchase…all the other decisions were easier.  Things started falling into place.  Hopefully, now that she has her dress it will feel like everything is coming together.

No, that’s not the dress that she choose…we just had to take a picture

Speaking of everything coming together (like the transition…?) let me tell you about my crazy long run that I did on Monday.  True, its not on the same level of crazy as Hungry Runner Girl (who just ran a treadmill marathon on Monday, you know for kicks and giggles) but it was definitely interesting.

Mr. Dawn was out of town.  That was the first obstacle.  Usually he’s there, watching the pre-game show, to encourage me to go get my run done.  Or he helps set the treadmill at the perfect angle so that I can watch the football game while I run.  Without him around I usually lolly gag around the house and end up running in the dark.  I decided that would NOT be the case this time.  I quickly texted my running mates to see who would be up for running a little with me today.  I got two takers and that was enough to get me out the door.

So, I pieced together my run: 2 miles from my front door to the Gazelle’s house, 8 windy, snowy, hard core 8:30 paced miles with the Gazelle, 1 mile to the front door of my friend that just ran the Disney Marathon, 2 nice recovery miles with her, 1 mile back to my house, and finally 3 miles on the treadmill.

It was during those 8 dreadful miles that I decided that I would run the last leg inside.  It was so windy.  We had a hard time breathing.  I had a hard time not coughing.  But it was actually the one mile back to my house that almost did me in!  I was running directly into the wind.  By then I’d been running for almost two hours.  My hands were frozen, swollen, and throbbing!  I almost started crying they hurt so badly.  I have never, ever, EVER experienced something like that.  I’ve been cold here and there…but nothing like that pain.

Once I got home I turned on the faucet and ran lukewarm water over my hands to try to bring them back to life.  It burned!  Slowly I got the feeling back and the tingling went away so I could finish my last few miles on the treadmill.

It was an interesting way to get in 17 miles.  But its done.  Next week…20!  I can’t wait!  I really do love running long, and 20 always feels so amazing   The forecast is for sun and 18* which would be perfect.

I don’t understand how people do intervals on treadmills.  I was terrified all day.  I even drove around several different routes looking for some snow-free running areas so that I would be able to escape running fast on my speed-sucking friend the ‘mill.  Unfortunately all of our roads are covered in packed snow.  Lame!

Meanwhile I then rocked my intervals.  I toughened up and faced the workout with as much mental stamina as I could scrape together on a Friday afternoon.  It was hard, but I feel pretty awesome.  Not because I did anything especially great, more because I did it at ALL.

Because I have the coolest job ever, I thought I’d share a sneak peek into my world of high school mathematics.  Here’s my assignment board for Calculus/Statistics:

And here’s the one in my other room:

Pretty epic huh?  At least that’s what all the “kids” say.  And NO, I did not do the artwork myself.  That is done by one of my amazing student workers.  She grades my calculus papers AND has that kind of artistic talent.

As you can see from the boards, we have NO SCHOOL on Monday!  I’m super excited about it.  This weekend I get to go wedding dress shopping with one of my best friends!!!!!  So exciting!  My other big plans include cleaning out my clothes and deciding which clothes to donate and which I should take to a tailor.

Anyone else have Monday off?

What are you doing this weekend?

Most importantly…what theme should we do on the boards next quarter? We were thinking Dinosaurs…

While on vacation, most people seek out exciting adventures.  Maybe an amusement park.  Others go to exotic locations where they can enjoy fine dining.  Me?  I go here:

Anyone recognize the building in the background?  Yup.  That’s the Celestial Seasonings Tea Shop.  I forced begged my entire family to take me to their factory in Boulder Colorado.  We happened to get there 45 minutes before the tour started (no clue how that happened ) and got to sample tea until it was time to see their facilities.  Ah-Maze-Ing.  75 types of tea.  All I could drink in 45 minutes.  Dream. Come. True.

First we went to the spice/herb storage facilities.  We learned about black/green/white tea.  Then, we got to go in the MINT ROOM.  My favorite part.  Its like standing in the center of a Halls cough drop.  Man, that would be awesome right about now…Then it was on to the factory floor.  It was so awesome to see all the machines filling the tea bags and packing the boxes.  I never realized that they only have the one factory.  It’s all at that one facility.  Incredible!

Yes.  I’m a tea junkie.  And I love Celestial Seasonings.  I always drink one cup a day.  All kinds.  All flavors.  My current obsession is their Decaf Sweet Coconut Thai Chai.  Yumm.  This week, with my voice, throat, upper respiratory issues that I’ve been focusing on Peppermint, Eucalyptus, and lemon varieties.  AndI’ve been drinking even more.  Upwards of 6 cups a day!  Still coughing up a storm….but at least my voice is almost back to 100%.

I ran 15 miles on Sunday.  The day after some record setting snow fall in this area.  24 inches at my house.  It was COLD.  The snow was DEEP.

Luckily it wasn’t as windy as my last 15 miler in the snow.  Traction was my biggest issue.  I was even wearing my new shoe covers with spikes on the bottom.  They were great on the ice…but made little difference in the packed snow.  Not sure why my Garmin quit at mile 13…it charged all night.  But while it was working my average pace was 8:52.

The entire time I was running I was replaying the 15 miler of death from last summer.  The one where I’m pretty sure I experienced some symptoms of heatstroke.  Like chills, dizziness, goosebumps.  It was scary.  Now, while I felt decent during the entire run this time…it was just as mentally challenging to run in the snow as it was to run in the heat.

Any other winter runners out there…do your teeth get cold?  This was the first time this has ever happened to me.  My teeth were FREEZING.  Hands, fine.  Legs, great.  Teeth?  Cold.  Very strange.

Then yesterday when I woke up I discovered a little bit of a rasp in my voice.  And today…no voice at all.  Like gone completely.  I can whisper.  Squeak a little.  It’s pretty awesome.  Especially as a teacher.  I love trying to get everyone’s attention by holding my hand in the air.  Luckily my students took pity on me and behaved like little angels today.  I’ve discovered that if I speak in a whisper everyone starts doing it.  Its kinda fun.  Like we’re working on a top secret project or something.

So, Janae at Hungry Runner Girl, Anna at Random Thoughts of a Wanna Be Runner, and Liz at Running with a Baby on Board each tagged me to answer some questions.  Here goes:

Most fond running accomplishment of 2010: This would definitely be qualifying for Boston.  True I barely got in with my 3:40:21 finish, but I’d taken off 50 minutes from my PR in less than a year, so I still feel pretty accomplished!

2011 running goals: Honestly I don’t know.  I know that I want to run Boston strong and soak up everything about the experience.  Other than that I don’t have any other races or goals on my agenda.  I figure I’ll focus everything on Boston for now and then regroup.  Boston has been my goal for so long, I don’t want to breeze by it cause I have my sights set on something else already.  For now I just want to savor this accomplishment.

Favorite race: Shockingly this isn’t the Grand Rapids Marathon (BQ).  While I did LOVE that race and would recommend it to anyone looking for a great small town race…my favorite race last year was the Notre Dame Holy Half Marathon.  It was just so fun.  I didn’t have to think much about pacing or holding back.  I just got to run all out the whole time.  I enjoyed every step of the race.

Favorite guilty pleasure: Honestly?  Reality TV.  More specific?  The Bachelor.  One of my favorite things about Bachelor season is the blog ihategreenbeans.com.  Lincee does a bachelor recap that is HILARIOUS.  I actually watch the show mainly so I can better appreciate her take on what happened.  Seriously.  You should check it out.

Most embarrassing running moment: Ummm…anyone who has been around here knows what I’m going to say.  When I peed.  On myself.  At the San Diego Rock ‘n Roll Marathon.  True story…I was at a wedding over Christmas break and someone from my old church started talking to be about how they read my blog.  And all they wanted to talk about was that moment.  Awesome.

All time favorite workout song: So, I’m going to go with a Jazzercise song here cause with running I’m more of a podcast/audiobook kinda girl.  For me…Brittney Spears songs always pump me up at Jazz.  Especially the song “Do Somethin.”  LOVE.  You should see the dance moves that goes with it.  So fun!

If you could chose your last meal, what would it be? Our homemade veggie Fajitas.  With fresh pico de gallo.  And guacamole.  Mmmm.

What is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? Honestly…every marathon finish line is so beautiful to me.  I think I’ve cried at 4 out of the five finish lines that I’ve crossed.

4 TV shows I watch: Community, Modern Family, the Office, Rules of Egagement…I want to keep going, but I’ll leave it at that.

4 things I’m passionate about: I am passionate about youth.   Even the times in my life when I haven’t been teaching I’ve been involved with youth groups, summer camps, and other youth focused organizations.  The times in my life when I’ve been employed in non-youth focused work it DRAINED the life out of me.

I am passionate about leadership and team development.  My master’s degree is in organizational development.  I love reading and thinking about the structure and effectiveness of organizations.  Most specifically I love working with non-profits and figuring out how they could better implement business strategies to be more successful.

I am passionate about marriage.  I feel so strongly that the foundation of a healthy society is the family.  The only way to have a strong family life is to cultivate a healthy and nurturing marriage.  For me, being married has helped me to become the best version of myself.  I love working with Mr. Dawn as we are shaping our marriage from day to day.

I am passionate about running.  I’m currently reading three different running books.  I feel like such a beginner.  Even though I’ve been running marathons for six years, I have just recently developed the desire to learn more about this sport.  I want to be a stronger more educated runner so that when new runners have questions I can help them be successful.

4 words/phrases I use too much: “NH.”  It stands for Not Happening.  I use this a lot in my classroom.  “Amazing.”  “Yes please!” and “You’ve got to be kidding me!”

4 things I’m looking forward to: Our trip to Boston/New York.  Hopefully a trip over spring break. Mr. Dawn’s graduation in May.  Did I mention Boston?

4 things I love about winter: Snow!  Soup.  Board Games. Snowboarding.  and SNOW!!!!

Now, I know with the tagging game we’re supposed to pass it on…but I’ve already done that once….so…. feel free to answer any of the questions that you feel a connection to!