in an effort to simplify
I deleted my Facebook.
Shocking, I know.
I have been thinking about how hard it is to build and maintain quality relationships. How easy it is to feel disconnected from people that I live near. I was using facebook (and other social media) to try to feel close to people that I live far away from to the neglect of people that surround me in my life here. I want to live life fully and be invested as much as I can with the local community that I find myself a part of…and I haven’t been.
Also, when I browse through my news feed, I feel pulled into “past lives” that I no longer am a part of. When I see friends that I’m not as close with I feel overwhelmed with guilt. I think to myself, “I should call her.” Then, when I don’t, I feel more ashamed because I realize I’ve let a friendship die.
The last straw for me was realizing that facebook is the only place where all my pasts collide. I’m friends with people who I’ve taught, knew in elementary school, did gymnastics with, played basketball with….past versions of myself that I don’t feel like carrying around everyday. I want to be who I am now. Today. Here. Facebook has been the place where I am forced remember who I was when I worked at camp. The mistakes I made in college. The horrible haircut I had in fourth grade (yes, there were pictures and yes I was tagged in them).
True, eliminating that one site from my bookmark list won’t solve all these problems, but its a step I needed to take for me. A step that I’m hoping helps me live in the moment and rejoice over the blessed life that I have.
I am going to be friends with only the people i am close to in real life. I see no point & knowing whats going on with people i no longer talk to! However isntead of deleting facebook, im just gonna delete them!
I am so proud of you and completely agree! My husband and I made the decision to delete both of our facebook pages almost a year ago for these exact reasons and haven’t looked back. I do realize that we are in the minority in general, but our social lives haven’t suffered.
Our turning point was when we went to dinner with old friends and the only conversations were “did you see what so and so posted?”, “can you believe she put that out there?”, “i heard so and so just had a baby…”. When we were face to face with each other and couldn’t speak about anything but facebook status, it was time for a change. Good for you!
ps. I came to your blog via detroitrunner’s blog
Totally know how you feel — I’ve been on the verge of doing that SO many times (I joined in 2004 and deactivated for nearly a year between then and now), but I don’t do a good job getting out there due to work and school and feel like I’d drop off the face of the planet if I completely get off. So, I just hide all my info and don’t update my status. That way, I do what I want to when I want to. =) It works pretty well so far.
Oooooo I’ve been considering but I’m just not brave enough to cut the ties!! Several friends have done it rave about how freeing it is and how they didn’t realize how they were subconsciously comparing their lives to others, etc. Now u have me thinkin over again. honestly it’s not the sane as it used to be since so many “friends” have it now, it’s scary to reveal too much of yourself on the site now.
This is such a great topic! Thank you for sharing this. Something to think about for sure. I think you touch on something huge here, especially with how much our society uses facebook in our daily lives (me included). It is easy to lose sight of the here and now and the life around us!
I have been seriously considering deleting my Facebook, too, but for different reasons. Good for you for doing what is best for you!!
fascinating….what an awesome thing. i love this: “I want to be who I am now. Today. Here.”
When I really think about it, it’s kind of sad how much I’ve come to rely on Facebook to keep in touch with even my closest friends and family.
Wow! Good job! I know what you mean about the “here and now” but at least for me it is one way I can actually keep in touch with people who otherwise live way too far away. Cool idea though.
I’ll be the lone dude comment on here and say I think it speaks to your character that you recognize to live in the now of life is the best way to live. So many are on Facebook because they want to live in an alternative world than their own. Is is just another form of escapism, like movies and reality TV. So for those that find it becoming some such I say they should do as you did, escape from the escapism!
I am just glad you are back to blogging! I personally have missed your posts.
Blessings on your week!
Good for you. It sounds like Facebook became a negative source and the best thing to do with those negative sources is to eliminate them.
The world revolves around moving forward, not backwards. Again – Good for you!
facebook or no…I am glad you are OK!.
I have been wondering about you and how your running is going.
Hope you have a great week =D
GREAT IDEA!!!! I think I might have to follow you on this one!!! Girl, you are amazing and thanks for reminding me to connect to the people close to me. Hope you are having an amazing day!!
I deleted FB a few months ago and I’ve never looked back. I spend my time on the internet reading things that actually interest me (running blogs for example;)) and email people when I actually want to know how they’re doing or set up a meeting or get together. So glad I did it.
Baller! I feel ya on the need to simplify my life lately… it’s nuts and I got really really sick over the weekend, which I think is my body telling me to SLOW down and just relax a bit. Glad I’m not the only one feelin’ this way.
I’ve had similar feelings about facebook as of late – there’s too much going on and it’s definitely time to pare down. I don’t think I’m going to delete the site outright, but I’m far less active on it than I used to be, and – when I have a chance! – I’m planning on going through to cull the ‘friends’ list so that I’m not constantly being kept up to date on the goings on of the kids of people I wasn’t friends with in high school.
i didn’t delete my account, but i did remove lots and lots of people. I only have family and select friends on there because I stink at picking up a phone
it might be easier, and more permanent, just to close the FB account – or is that going one step too far?