running: the dawn

Sigh.

I wish that it had gone better…

Yesterday I realized that this is not just my 5th and final 20 miler for this training cycle, it is the last time I will get to do a long run here.  Next Saturday we’re looking for housing in our new home town.  I’ll be on spring break, which means that we can take our time and look for a place that is going to fit us.  We won’t be back here until the next weekend…and that will be 6 days before we leave for Boston.  CRAZINESS.

So, yeah.  My last long run here.  Instead of enjoying it and soaking it all in… all I could think about was how slow I was running and how much my legs hurt.  I was shocked that my legs didn’t hold up at all.  Sure…I haven’t been running as much lately, so its not necessarily a surprise.  At least it shouldn’t have been.

It was 20 degrees when I started, so instead of the “dress rehearsal” I was hoping for, I ended up having to layer on all of my winter running gear: tights, baselayer, fleece jacket, gloves, earwarmers, and neck gaiter.  I will admit that I did enjoy the first half of the run.  The blue sky.  My audiobook.  The beautiful country side.  I actually warmed up enough to have Mr. Dawn bring me my lighter jacket.

Then I got to the turn around.  And discovered that I had been running WITH the wind the entire time.  All of a sudden there was a severe headwind.  Add to that I was headed right into the hilliest section of the route.  It was pretty demoralizing.  Luckily Mr. Dawn had agreed to meet me just on the other side of the hills, so I pressed on to the promised land of our rendezvous location.  After filling up my water bottle and complaining to him about how brutal the wind was, I set out on my long trek towards home.

I walked.  Several times.  There was no crying, but there was a lot of moaning in pain.  Every so often I had to stop and stretch my legs so that I could keep running.

It’s not the way I wanted my last 20 miler to go down…I really wanted to head into Hopkinton with a great training cycle and all the confidence in the world.  I know that Boston is going to be the greatest race I’ll ever run in and I’m having to accept that it’s not going to be my best performance.  It’s a tough pill to swallow.  Because no matter how many times I say “I’ll just go for the experience,” there is a part of me that wishes I would be in peak condition for this race.

Also, today, I packed my first box for our big move!  Go me!!!  I’m starting to realize that since we’ll be gone for the next three weekends, then we’ll have guests for the two weekends after that (one of which is Mr. Dawn’s graduation weekend)…there isn’t going to be a lot of time to be wrapping, labeling, and putting into well-marked boxes.  So, I’ve got to start.  I guess it would be more correct to say I should start HELPING.  Cause Mr. Dawn is neck deep into the packing.  He’s got almost all of our books organized, separated, cataloged and put into rubbermaids.  Cause he’s that awesome.

Me?  I’ve packed one box.  Its a start…