running: the dawn

I love math.  I think we can trace that quirk in my personality back to elementary school.   I was completely obsessed with the “mad minute” activities.  These were one-page worksheets covering addition, subtraction, multiplication and division that we were given one minute to finish.

The first time we would start a new concept, it was laborious to do the mad minute.  I’d have to stop for each question and think through the process.  When it was addition, that meant counting on my fingers.  “Three, plus four…that means three to four to five to six to seven.  So three plus four has to equal seven!”  Then I’d quickly write the answer down and move on to the next question, starting the process all over again.

Over time, I would see the patterns, and would have to think about the process less.  I would make up my own little shortcuts and make connections that helped my go faster.  Instead of having to think about what addition actually meant, it became instinctive.  I knew that three plus 4 equals 7, because it always equals seven.  It was developing the correct brain reflexes.

It was so exciting to see how much I could get done.  It was even more fun to realize that I was getting faster over time.  I enjoyed the new challenge of moving from addition to subtraction, and then throwing fractions in just for kicks.  There was nothing more satisfying than completing that last problem and turning my paper over before the minute was over.  Done!  Such a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction.

Years later, I am wondering if my running will ever get to that same point.  Right now, I feel the labor every day.  I have to consciously think about setting time aside to run, preparing myself physically for the run, preparing myself mentally for the cold.  I feel every step that I take, every breath rings in my ears, I am aware of the movement and the motion.  Is it possible that this will ever come more naturally?  Will I ever not have to think about the steps and the motion and the breathing?  Will I ever wake up without an alarm and find myself out running before I have to actually think about what I’m doing?

Maybe not.  Maybe running is not meant to be like math.

I would love to be a natural-born runner.  But alas, I’m afraid I wasn’t made that way.  My legs are short, I have pretty severe over pronation, and weak ankles (made weaker by numerous sprains playing high school and college basketball).  Running may never come easy to me the way math does, but I love it.  I will keep working at it in the hopes that some day I will find myself on a run without restraints, where I feel free of the process and I can just enjoy my accomplishment and turn the paper over.  Done!